Since getting my wisdom teeth removed four days ago, I have been recovering well. I was feeling OK when I didn’t have to leave the house or do anything involving being near people. Today I went out to get groceries and I realized I actually don’t feel well at all.
The noises were bothering me, kids screaming while being pushed around in carts, metallic voices on the intercom, bad music with whining vocals from the speakers on the roof. I am impatient, I am grouchy, I am ultra-sensitive. I can’t remember where to find what I need, I feel lost, everything I see I can’t eat because I am Protecting the Sockets and everything seems a danger to my aching mouth. I find the Jello aisle and pick out one of almost every kind. I find a white chocolate flavoured pudding but it’s fat free and made with awful fake sugars and I get irritated and thrust it back on the shelf. Gross. I can’t get pistachio because those little nut fragments could get all up in my tooth holes.
The pain killers started wearing off, I could feel how sore my mouth is without them. It feels like my jaw is stretched wide open, but it’s clenched tightly closed. There are ghost feelings of the teeth being ripped out. I feel overwhelmed, I feel like a cranky toddler about to have a temper tantrum, I feel frustrated. I want to crawl back into bed and shut out the world.
For lunch I had a large chocolate Frosty from Wendy’s. It’s exactly what I wanted, and my anxiety subsides as I go for a nature walk in the park. I’m feeling less stressed than in the store, but I know I need to go home soon for a nap and more pills. I walk along the path and think about my animal stories, as that park is the setting. I think about how the trees got so twisted, tortured trapped souls, former giant beasts. I hear bird calls and think about adding them to my fables. Cheeeeeeese-burger. Chickadeeeedeeedee. Wonk wonk! I need a book or a website for identifying bird calls.
Before heading home I drop some books off at the library and pick up some holds I had, a book about names of places in Canada and a book about Alberta animals. I’m too exhausted to look for anything else, like a bird call book, it can wait.
I’m home from my big day out, I’m not feeling like doing any work on my projects. Time for sleep.