Things I Can’t Say

I was reading an article about a prison guard who is in trouble for taking photos of an inmate's disgusting cell and going to social media with them. Commenters say, "but he's a hero!" The Truth is illegal.

As a teacher I am bound by confidentiality. I sign a form swearing I will never disclose what goes on with the children and colleagues in the schools. I'm sure the prison guard signed something similar.

I wanted to write about what happened in my internship. I was treated unfairly, it was a nightmare, I still can't believe it happened. Even trying to talk to another staff member about what was happening with my mentor teacher was enough for her to threaten to sue me for speaking ill of her. Not joking. I need to silence myself on so much I want to say.

I wanted to write a futuristic fiction about the collapse of public school and the consequences to society for what the education system is doing.

I wanted to write about the time administration failed to uphold government law to placate a religious parent and left me feeling like I was the one in the wrong even with the law on my side.

I can't tell anyone about any of it. I am gagged by the agreement I signed, to pretend everything is fine when it's so very broken. I worry I can't even say what I've said in this post.

I know how the guard feels. I want to show everyone the figurative shit I've seen smeared on the windows, but it could cost me my job.


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